DREAMS I HAVE HAD

I was on the highway (US-131) going southwest into the sunset. The highway was made out of trampolines, and I was on foot bounding along with the cars. A rogue brown horse came charging toward me. I dodged it a couple times, but then it caught me and I was trampled to death.

I was playing Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze except I was inside the level playing it in first-person. I got to the end of the level, and Funky Kong appeared. He said to me "You're a little gay boy" and then I woke up.

I was falling off a cliff. I landed on my butt very hard on a concrete floor and it hurt. A wolverine happened to be walking by, and it glared at me and mauled me and ripped my face off.

I was in the woods with my childhood dog, who had Arthur glasses on. Every time he blinked, a forest animal would come out and I was terrified. I could not move and had to stay completely still until the animal disappeared. There was a skunk and then a grizzly bear. I was very scared of skunks at the time.

There were a bunch of claymation chickens (like from Chicken Run) walking in a circle around the perimeter of an iceberg floating in the ocean. I watched them for a few minutes, then a gigantic chicken popped up in the foreground. It said "Are you sure you want to quit?" YES and NO buttons and a cursor appeared, and I clicked the YES button. Then I woke up.

I was in a resort on a tropical island with several other people. It was something like the Hunger Games, where the last person alive won the game. It came down to me and my then-girlfriend, who I had to kill. I cried the whole time.

I dreamed that I shot up my high school and went to prison for the rest of my life.

I was in the backseat of my mom's car and she was driving as fast as she could. There was a gigantic oversized T-Rex chasing behind us, tearing through everything in its way.

I was watching a Nintendo Direct. The only thing they revealed was a game called "Super Wallace 3D World + Gromit's Fury".

I died and went to heaven. Heaven turned out to be an extremely large, crowded public pool.

I was sodomized by Hagrid in the back room of Ollivander's wand shop. Probably the worst dream I've ever had.

I was in a lecture at university, and my professor taught us how to do a DIY circumcision, and assigned us homework to bring a foreskin next class.

I was dating a girl and she was absolutely perfect, but then she tried to recruit me into ISIS. She was an ISIS member the whole time.

I was trying to smuggle illegal firearms across the USA-Mexico border and I got caught by border patrol.

I gave birth in a local family Mexican restaurant on a table. The baby, immediately out of the womb, stood up and did a funny little dance on the table. I didn't end up naming him.

Minecraft Steve, Geno, and another Fire Emblem character were announced for Smash. (This was months before Steve was announced)

I was active in a Discord channel in my friend group server called #shooting-memes, which was just memes about guns.

I was in high school and was in the school play. Practice was scheduled one day in advance without notice. I was one hour and ten minutes late, and I was so sad my friend hugged me. I drove a motorcycle back home. While on my way, someone threw their newborn baby at me and shouted something about Fire Emblem, so I gave them the middle finger. A truck driver mistook me flipping him off instead, so he walked out of his truck and bitchslapped me on the highway.

I woke up at 9:30 PM and went downstairs to my living room, where my then-girlfriend's dad was talking with my parents about magic. I had an intense desire to conquer Austria.

I was in high school AP Literature. We were given an assignment to write a literary analysis on LazyTown to prove that Sportacus was God.

I was with a couple of my friends at my grandma's house, and we were playing EarthBound on the SNES. One of my friends said how she really likes Paula's character. The Franklin Badge was called the Cleveland Badge for some reason. A random guy from high school showed up and said that he wishes psychic powers were real. I drive to the hospital to get brain surgery so I can have psychic powers. The surgeon says "There's no way he'll withstand this" and stabs me with a needle. Then I woke up.

I got WR in Red Classic, but it was 1 second shorter than the SM64 120 star WR. Every time there was a new 120 star WR, my time changed to beat that record by 1 second.

I was acting in a musical based on Pokemon Platinum, and I ended up dating the actress playing Jupiter.

I was going to commit assisted suicide. I had come to terms with it and was comfortable ending my life, and I would do it via drinking poison. I organized it through this company that specialized in helping people end their lives. The dream ended with me telling my friends over Discord while my mom was driving me. I was cracking jokes about it and people were sad but understanding.

I was in class when a nuclear bomb dropped; I remember hearing the loudest BOOM noise and then a huge flash of white (even though I know in real life those things would happen in the inverse order).

I got attacked by a wild bobcat and had to be vaccinated against rabies.

Not writing down the sex dreams lol