So if you've watched me or talked to me for more than about 12 seconds, you've probably heard me insult myself. Maybe it's been for an input error, maybe for making a wrong decision, maybe for simply existing. It's always been an issue of mine, but it's gotten worse since I've started streaming. Over the past year or so, I've gotten way too comfortable with self-deprecation and being down on myself. It's unhealthy and frankly, it needs to stop. 

That's where you, concerned viewer, come in. Please call me out when I call myself an idiot, or say I'm bad at the game, or just generally talk myself down (as a side note, double call me out if I say "kill me" because that one's just unacceptable). I would like for my streams to be a positive and encouraging place, or at least to not be one where the streamer actively hates himself. I'm hoping that if people take note of those instances, they'll decline and eventually stop. Also note that the intent here isn't to fellate myself for 3 hours a stream or to act like I'm perfect and need no improvement. I just want to kill some of that pesky negativity, and I feel like working to be kinder to myself will be helpful to that end. 

As a side note, I think that this is a bit of an issue in PSR, and probably within any hobby which has some level of improvement or competition tied to it. It's only natural to want to be the best version of yourself, and that pretty frequently leads to negative self-talk when goals or expectations aren't reached. When there are tangible results to look towards (whether it's your PB or it's just hitting a manip or something) it's just too easy to focus the bad, especially in the moments you do something wrong. That's not to say there's something inherently wrong with speedrunning or competition or anything like that. Just that we should be careful and aware of that stuff. 

Or maybe that last paragraph is completely off base, who knows!